[74, W, Tungsten, 钨, 183.85]

Okay, here’s one: how many characters in a science fiction story does it take to change a light bulb?

好吧，有这么个笑话：在科幻小说里，要换灯泡需要多少个角色？

Give up? Two. One to change the light bulb, and the other to say, “As you know, Fred, the light bulb was invented by Thomas Edison, and operates under the principle of ?”

猜不到吧？要两个。一个换灯泡，另一个会说：“弗雷德，你知道的。灯泡是托马斯·爱迪生发明的，可它的运行原理是什么呢？”

Here’s another one, only maybe it’s not so funny. How many scientists does it take to change a light bulb? Don’t know? About ten thousand to build the Doomsday Device and one to write the report saying that Project

还有一个，不那么好笑的一个。要换一个灯泡需要多少个科学家？不知道了吧？需要一万个用来建造末日设备，再来一个专门写关于这个项目的报告。

Light Bulb is an enormous success and requires further funding.

灯泡项目是个巨大的成功，而且需要更多的资金。

Didn’t like that one? How about this? How many diplomats does it take to change a light bulb? One to lay down an ultimatum over a border dispute, a second to pass on his head of state’s threat to employ Project Light Bulb if enemy troops cross that border, and a third to decide that the head of state was bluffing.

你不喜欢这个吗？那这个怎么样？要换一个灯泡需要多少个外交官？一个对边界争端下达最后通牒，一个通知国家元首会在敌方军队跨过边境时启动灯泡项目，还有一个会宣称国家元首在故弄玄虚。

Not funny, you say. Well, you’re a tough audience. Try this one. How many heads of state does it take to change a light bulb? None. Heads of state don’t change anything. Not light bulbs, not their minds, nothing.

不好笑，你说。好吧，你这个听众真难搞。试试这个。要换个灯泡需要多少个国家元首？多少个都不行。因为国家元首什么都改变不了，无论是灯泡，还是他们的想法，都不行。

Okay, one last joke. How many surviving human beings does it take to change a light bulb?

好了，最后一个笑话。要换一个灯泡需要多少个幸存下来的人类？

About a week from now? None at all.

一个星期之后吗？没有了。